While many of us might have great sex while on our summer holidays, it’s often a different story when we’re back home in the middle of winter. Layers of pyjamas, bedsocks and a duvet make for a great cosy evening in, but they don’t exactly set the mood for steamy, skin-on-skin nights, and we might begin to feel that winter just isn’t the season for sex.
People are sensitive to variations in light and warmth, explains psychiatrist and sex therapist Jean-Roger Dintrans. ‘Just as we get Seasonal Affective Disorder due to a lack of sunlight, in winter we suffer from a dip in libido for the same reason.’
When the weather is warmer, sex is more in our thoughts as we reveal more of our bodies. Clinical psychologist Albert Barbaro believes that our hectic lifestyles are also responsible for lowering our libido, explaining that we have more sex when we are on holiday because we are away from the stresses of our day-to-day lives.
Here are our tips for having great holiday sex in winter:
Turn up the heat
On holiday we spend our days in bikinis or stay cool in summer dresses. ‘Skin-on-skin contact is so important for the build-up to sex,’ says sex expert Susan Quilliam. ‘Turn up the heating and dress lightly to achieve this at home.’
If you can replicate your summer holiday with a weekend UK break, Quilliam recommends somewhere warm like a spa. ‘Get away from daily habits and routines and allow time for sex.’ If a trip isn’t possible, mix it up at home. ‘Try to mimic new holiday surroundings by using another room in the house,’ she says.
Choose your time
Time of day is also important. ‘Weekend mornings and afternoons are ideal,’ says sex expert and clinical psychologist Dr Cecilia d’Felice. ‘The siesta was invented with good reason; try an after-lunch snooze, followed by sex when awakened, feeling refuelled and refreshed.’
Everyday life can get in the way of great sex as we try to fit it around other commitments. But sex can be a magical healer and clear blocks of resentment, d’Felice says. ‘Angry sex, if directed constructively, can be very cleansing and renewing. Turn the rage into a passionate connection with your lover. After, the bonding hormones released will clear the air and make you feel closer. Make-up sex can be passionate, wild, tender and poignant, so let it be your friend, not something to avoid.’
Read our article on understanding your couple sexual style