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Is It Ever OK to Ask for a Plus One to a Wedding?

A woman wearing a dressPhotograph by Shutterstock

Flying solo to a wedding can be fun, but it can also totally suck. You might find yourself sitting at a table filled with other people who showed up solo, like the bride’s third cousin twice-removed and some guy she had to invite from work because they share a cubicle.Not to mention, you’ll probably find yourself hiding in the bathroom or cozying up to the open bar during the slow songs.

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Whether you’ve just met thelove of your life or you’re simply trying to score on Tinder, getting a wedding invitation addressed only to you presents some interesting dilemmas. Should you just ask the person you’re dating to show up after dinner is served and hope nobody notices? Should you fork over the money and show up alone, just to spend the night rolling your eyes at all of the lucky people who got to bring their S.O.?

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The answer? None of the above.

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Instead, if you really feel as though you want a plus one or you’re sure that you are one of the only single people invited, it’s OK to give the bride and groom a call and simply ask if you can bring someone with you.

Chances are they’ll tell you they need time to pine it over, and their decision will either be based on how many people RSVP’d no or if they have extra room in the venue. They may end up saying no because if they say yes to you, their other single friends may want to bring someone, too.

It’s important to remember that weddings are expensive, and venues that make couplespay per person become even more expensive with every extra guest. Plus, some couples may not feel comfortable having you bring a date that they’ve never met before. In the end, weddings are supposed to be intimate, and if there are significant others roaming around that they’ve never even laid eyes on, they may start to feel a little uneasy.

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Either way, it’s worth an ask. If you don’t hear back or they give you a maybe, follow-up a couple of weeks before the wedding. If a family member backed out of coming last minute or their guest list is getting slimmer, you may get a lucky break and wind up with some wedding arm candy after all.

Jen Glantz is a “Professional Bridesmaid” and the founder ofBridesmaid for Hire. She’s the author ofAll My Friends Are Engagedand her forthcoming book,Always a Bridesmaid (For Hire), will be released in 2017.

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